Traveling the World

I was born at 8:30am on June 19th, 1986 in Miami, Florida at Baptist Memorial Hospital. I was 6 pounds and 6 ounces. I had the whitest hair and lightest eyes one could imagine for a Caucasian boy! Unlike my brother, who was born premature, my mother had no complications, so my stay at the hospital was thankfully brief.

The first few years of my life were spent wreaking havoc on everything and everyone I knew. I learned very quickly how to escape from strollers, cribs, and anything meant to hold me back. I was even banned from the homes of my parent’s friends, as jumping on their beds was not something adults appreciated.

Around the time I was 3, we moved to a three bedroom house with a huge front yard and a big swimming pool and fenced-in backyard with a swing set. We used to bike ride, play football, basketball, baseball, frisbee, you name it. My brother and I did these things all the time and usually invited neighbors like VJ, Adam, Maggie, and Manish to do these things with us.

When I was 6, Hurricane Andrew hit Miami and damaged our house. We spent most of the night and early morning huddled in the master closet, while my father and grandfather held the door shut to prevent the winds from snatching us up. The bathroom window across from this door had broken under the pressure, so my brave father tried his best to protect us. My funny brother slept in his room next to our room for through most of the hurricane.

After the storm had passed, I left the room to inspect the damage. I stupidly ran in an attempt to avoid the shards of glass strewn about the floor, and slipped on a puddle. Thankfully, my extremely hard head softened the fall, yet to our luck I was unscathed. In the aftermath, the swing set I previously mentioned was picked up by the wind and flew through the backyard’s screen and into the deep end of the pool. Our fence, shingles, most of the windows, and our solar panels were all gone. Although we fared much better than most of the houses in our neighborhood, having no windows meant it was unsafe to live there for the time being. A nice check from the insurance company sent us straight to Disney for a week, while my dad’s friends fixed up the house.

Later that year, my family went to Duluth, Georgia to visit family friends. It was snowing, and to be honest, that was the last time I saw snow. Something that will remain etched into my memory was one day we were playing on the playground, the ground still covered in snow. My brother decided to be Evil Knievel and jumped off the top of the slide onto the snow below. Being young and impressionable, I followed the leader and did it myself, except the result wasn’t the same. I landed in such a way that I got the wind knocked out of me, rendering me unable to breathe. My family quickly surrounded me and asked me if I broke something. Still unable to speak, they brought me home. After an even longer amount of time, they took me to the hospital.

Waiting in the hospital seemed like forever, but I felt a bit better when I spoke to the boy next to me. His father was holding a napkin or something like it against the boy’s mouth. I asked what had happened, and the man said he had been attacked by a dog and had his lips bitten off. The boy showed me, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget how disgusting it looked. I don’t know what happened to the boy, and I don’t suspect I’ll ever find out who he was.

Jumping to the following summer, I took an IQ test at my elementary school. They said my IQ was 133 and I qualified for the gifted program called Quest. For those of you who don’t know about IQ, you can read about it here. Wikipedia says, “According to Dr. C. George Boeree of Shippensburg University, intelligence is a person’s capacity to (1) acquire knowledge (learn and understand), (2) apply knowledge (solve problems), and (3) engage in abstract reasoning. The average IQ is 100 with a standard deviation of 15. That means I am 2 standard deviations above the average person.

The other part of my exam revealed that I had ADHD. ADHD is the short form for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Most children in America are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD, even though doctors get it wrong many times. As a result, I strongly believe that they were wrong about me, but nothing can be done about it now. Back then, they prescribed me with a pill called Ritalin. I had to take 3 pills a day at a strength of 5 milligrams per pill. Being the smart person I am, I began feigning stomach aches in the morning. I excused myself from the table to lay down on the couch, where I promptly slipped the pill into the cracks and into the abyss.

Look for the next few years of my life in the article that follows next week.

I’m still in a bad situation because my visa expires July 4th, and I haven’t decided what I’m going to do: get a tourist visa and work on building up my business, or getting a university job and a new work visa so I can be stable here (thus worrying about the business as an after affect).

My school found out I passed out a few business cards to parents and they got angry. I think they didn’t fire me for the fact that I’ve been with them for 7 months. Teacher turnover rates in China are astronomically high, so 7 months at the same school for part-time work means a lot to a school. After I had this little chat with my co-worker, the bitch Vienna, who got Lily fired, decided to come into the room and ream me out. The only difference between the two people is that one is my friend, co-worker, and the person I should go to if I have problems; the other is a rude, mean bitch who has no authority over me.

Speaking of Lily, we’ve been together for a bit over 2 months. Things have been going well. We get along great despite the minor mis-communications here and there. Sometimes I think it’s great I found someone here who isn’t an idiot or a slut, but that makes the relationship all the more difficult, as I actually have to think about the future now. I don’t want to because I’m young, and I’ve explained this to her, but we all know women really want to get married, especially Chinese girls with handsome foreign men like myself.

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In regards to my teaching business, I was talking to a former student on QQ and he re-connected me with a girl I met last September during a New Oriental event. She said she wanted to work for New Oriental, but after I explained their dark side, she flipped and became adamant about joining me and Lily. She said she doesn’t want anything, other than to help me find students and a classroom/office.

Well the update on this is that she now has a job with New Oriental and pretty much is not going to deal with us anymore. So much for building a huge business really fast with this girl and her connections. It’s back to the drawing board for Lily and I. We made business cards, but no one has called us. We are having flyers printed, but I expect the same outcome. It’s a shame how people who need our services and want our services never get around to dealing with it, even though English is all the craze in China.

I’ve realized after being here for less than a year that it’s always better to be the boss than the employee. That’s what I want to become, but as of right now I don’t see it happening. I guess I’m stuck with remaining the employee, and thus at the whims of my masters.

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I’ll reiterate once again how poor the health practices are in China, and how large the percentage of population who have AIDs and Hepatitis, as well as god knows what other diseases. It freaks me out a bit because it isn’t talked about, and there isn’t much you can do besides not live here. I’m going to pay 250rmb ($38) to get a full blood test done to check for STDs and whatnot. I want to make sure I’m healthy!

As well, I’ve had the same shoes since before I moved to China. I bought them last March I believe, but there is no padding left, so my ankles and knees are hurting. I need to buy new shoes immediately because of the pain. As a result, this weekend is going to be very expensive. Yay.

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As the one year mark in this incredible journey prepares to pass the tick, Alex and Mike are saying their good-byes. I can’t believe it’s been so long, and especially so quick. I never really liked hanging out with them because Zahra was around. After she left and I realized 2 of my 6 foreign friends in China are leaving for at least another year (they have to finish university), I started hanging out with them a lot. When she’s not around, they’re cool to be with, and especially now that I know Zahra is a huge B for breaking up with Alex as she left China for Australia (and then ultimately Canada for university), I’m glad I was so harsh on her in my mind. It only confirms my beliefs about her.

I’ll be sad to see them go, but I know I’ll be here when they return.

Lastly, death needs to stop coming around so often. Within the last week, Lily’s friend’s father died of liver cancer from being an alcoholic, and Paula (my new Mexican friend) is leaving China to rush to her father’s bedside as he prepares to depart from this world. It’s a damn shame, but her father was in a terrible car accident, and she only hopes she can get there in time to say good-bye.

It’s a terrible situation for anyone to be put in, especially on such short notice. My thoughts go out to her and her family, and I only hope she makes it.